A WOMAN who is mum to two kids and a step parent to her partner’s son has insisted she won’t pay for him to go on holiday with the family.
The anonymous Reddit user, 26, who goes by the handle Glittering-Excuse-99, explained that her stepson used to come to the house over the weekends, but has stopped doing this and always moans.
She also shared her belief that he isn’t a fan of spending time with her two daughters and “doesn’t really like me” either.
Ranting about the situation to fellow social media users on the AITA board, which she titled ‘AITA for not letting my stepson come on holiday with us’, she shared: “I (26f) and my partner (26m) have 3 kids between us, I have 2 daughters (9f,7f) and he has a son (12m).
“My stepson used to stay with us at the weekends but as he has to share a room with my daughters, he has decided he doesn’t want to stay anymore (which is fair enough! He’s getting older and wants space, plus he is getting too old to share now)
“I don’t have a problem with this AT ALL! He needs to do what is is best for him and I’m not going to force him to come to my house all the time when he doesn’t want it but he also doesn’t want to spend any time her whatsoever.” [sic]
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Giving further context, she went on to share that last year they went on a family trip, where her stepson had his own room and they all had a “relatively good time!”
“I was planning on booking a holiday for the end of this year but I told my partner that I wasn’t paying for SS to come with us as by the time we go, he would of spent zero time with the family and probably wouldn’t enjoy coming away with us for a week as he doesn’t enjoy being around my kids anymore and doesn’t really like me,” [sic] she continued.
While the woman thought she was being reasonable in who she would and would not pay for, her partner had a different take on the situation.
She explained: “My partner threw a massive tantrum and said I was purposely leaving him out of stuff just to be spiteful but in reality, I’m the one who pays for everything I.e. the holiday, clothes, food, activities etc when we are away and I want to enjoy myself and let my kids enjoy it without ss moaning about being here in the first place (which he will and did the last time we went away) and I don’t want to pay for someone who doesn’t want to be here in the first place.”
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The woman then asked whether she is in the wrong in this situation, adding: “Should I just pay for him and get know with it?” [sic]
Her story caused quite the debate online as one person said: “So your stepson shows up with no space he can call his own. He probably feels like an outsider based on your responses.”
Another agreed: “you knew he had a child when you met him so you must have known he would have to be part of your life. I feel sorry for the lad. He probably feels he’s a bit of a spare part given that he can’t even have his own space when he stays with you. I wouldn’t want to stay their either. You should take him on holiday and allow him to spend some quality time with his father.” [sic]
As a third added: “He's 12, not 18… Ask if he would like to go, if he says no then fair enough. If he says yes then suck it up, he's still part of the family.”
But others were more sympathetic towards her position.
One person argued: “His father should step up and help pay, not whine like a child while his wife pays for and does everything.”
While another shared: “He threw a tantrum because she said she doesn’t want to pay. 1. I gather its because he needs to pay and step up and 2. It is unfair to pay for everything and then be told to she has to make the effort for the son to feel included. But the son does whatever makes him happy ? The dad should pay for his son.” [sic]
“Why isn't your husband paying for the holiday too?” a third chimed.
They added: “Start with a family dinner and see if he comes around and ask if he would like to come on the trip with you then see what he would like to do. If he says no then so be it. If he says yes then say we would be doing some family bonding”.
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