AND just like that, poof! The summer holidays are over.
Swathes of both teachers and students across the country will have the back-to-school blues, while parents are almost giddy with excitement and the anticipation of not having to fork out an exorbitant amount to keep their ungrateful offspring entertained.
One thing that should be guaranteed when school restarts is for the uniform to be on point.
Unfortunately, this is not always the case, and I should know working as a receptionist for a primary school.
It may not seem like a big deal but it really bothers school staff when they know that the reason standards have slipped is because of you, a lazy parent.
Excuses such as, “I don’t get paid until next week” or “I couldn’t find ANY trousers, I’m taking him to the shops tomorrow” really don’t cut the mustard – you have known for 2 months which date they would be returning to school.
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And please, do not complain about not being able to afford a uniform when your child is rocking brand new £140 trainers – you are an adult, prioritise!
No-one is denying that buying school uniform can be a bit of a minefield.
Buy it too early at the beginning of the holidays and you can almost guarantee that your child will sprout 3 inches overnight; buy bigger sizes in anticipation of said sprouting and your kids will end up looking like you have accidently shrunk them in the wash.
Worse still, leave it until the end of the holidays when the shelves are bare of school essentials, and you end up begging your child to wear the ugliest shoes in the world because they are the only ones left that just about comply with the school’s uniform policy.
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But don’t let your child rock up in trainers just because it makes your life easier.
Of course, uniform, or the absence of, is not the only thing school staff have to contend with off the back of a long holiday.
Henna tattoos and hair braids look the part when you are basking on a Turkish beach, but lose their 90’s lustre as soon as you enter the Arrivals hall back home.
Other than the children once again being liked caged monkeys following their six weeks of freedom, a major problem for teachers (of teen and pre-teen girls mainly) is the unwelcome addition of nails so long and sharp they could be mistaken for talons, and lash extensions so thick and heavy they practically blind the wearer.
Flutter those bad boys at your beloved and they are apt to think a flock of birds has taken up residence on your face.
And we can only blame you, the parents, for these wholly inappropriate embellishments. By all means, have them done for your child at the beginning of the holidays – they then have 6 weeks to work out how much of a pain in the a**e they are and get rid before coming back to school!
Bad fake tans can also spotted, and giggled at, from a mile away.
Teachers understand the want of a bit of colour if the children haven’t been able to escape the good ol’ British summer and have spent the holidays watching the rain lash down, but please parents, ensure they are applying it properly and don’t end up looking like an Oompa-Loompa for the obligatory back to school photo that you will plaster over your socials. They won’t thank you for it in years to come.
Almost as bad as the fake tans are the children who have had holidays abroad and have returned with additions that must have seemed like a good idea at the time.
Henna tattoos and hair braids look the part when you are basking on a Turkish beach, but lose their 90’s lustre as soon as you enter the Arrivals hall back home.
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