I’m mum-shamed for being cheap – I don’t care, my kids don’t need posh pressies… they’re happy with charity shop junk | The Sun

WOULD you give your kids a second-hand present?

With bills on the rise and mortgage payments quite literally through the roof, one thrifty mum decided to stop throwing cash at her kids and spends pennies at charity shops instead.


Emily Patricia Fae, mum to Imogen, eight, Robyn, seven, and four-year-old Phoebe, says people call her mean for denying her kids new things, but there's no shame in cleaning up dirty toys.

Emily, who lives with her appliance installer husband Rich, 3, says: “Second-hand gifting brings me and my kids so much joy, but it wasn’t always this way. 

“As a child, I adored the huge pile of presents my mum wrapped up for birthdays and Christmas. I never went without, so when she passed away, I felt my children deserved the same.” 

But Emily, 41, a KonMari home-organising consultant who lives near Eastleigh in Hampshire, says: “It led me down a chaotic path of clutter, frustration and a rapidly declining bank balance. I hit breaking point at Christmas 2021. 

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“Rich and I spent hours putting together the most incredible assortment of gifts for our girls, even selling stuff we didn’t need for extra cash to buy more things we thought they’d love. 

“We must have spent about £500 on each of them but, after they tore into their gifts, they spent the entire day complaining about being bored.

“It was both frustrating and eye-opening and made me question the whole gift-giving frenzy.

“Two months later, it was Robyn’s birthday. She was the first to experience my new rule of giving four second-hand gifts. Our budget dropped from £500 to £100 and while she was shocked by her lack of gifts, she took it so well. 

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“She had an amazing day and the best bit was, I didn’t feel guilty. I didn’t have to spend hundreds of pounds on unwanted presents. A huge weight was lifted. 

“It’s Imogen’s birthday soon and she has two items on her wish list — a doll’s house and a pin cushion to practise sewing — things I’ll easily find second-hand. 

“Everyone thinks second-hand gifts are dirty and old and make your house look tacky, but that’s not true. I’ve found the most beautiful dresses on Vinted and bought unopened toys in charity shops. 

“And so what if they are a bit dirty?

“You can clean toys easily and no one will notice a little stain on their T-shirt. 

“What looks fabulous to me might make your skin crawl, but I still have standards.

“Friends and family have told me that I’m a mean mother for denying my children new things, but the kids have never complained. 

“I was so worried that they would miss the excitement of a huge pile of presents, but I was wrong.

“Fewer presents and more thoughtful gifting has made us all happier.”

EMILY’S THRIFTY GIFTING TIPS

LET KIDS LOOSE WITH YOUR CASH: Children love picking presents. Take them to the local charity shop, give them a fiver and let them choose a gift for a pal or a family member themselves.

SHOP FROM YOUR SOFA: To top up the kids’ dressing-up box, don’t buy  new, get  it on Vinted.

GO SMALL TO WIN BIG: Hit smaller charity shops for bigger bargains. Little ones tend to price items much cheaper than town centre stores.

JANUARY IS YOUR FRIEND:  Charity shops are bursting as families clear cupboards post-Christmas  and will mark items down to get rid of stock.

MIDWEEK MAGIC: Most charity donations arrive at weekends and it is Wednesday before the  new stock is finally sorted and up for sale.

DON’T PAY THE ASKING PRICE: If you see something in a second- hand shop that’s above your budget, don’t be scared to haggle.

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MAKE FRIENDS, SAVE MONEY: Become a regular at your local charity shop and get to know the staff. Then, if you need something specific, they’ll keep an eye out and ring you if they find a perfect match.

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