DR MAX PEMBERTON: Thanks to Kenny Logan for breaking a harmful male taboo around prostate cancer
- Dr Max Pemberton praises ex Scotland rugby star Kenny Logan for his honesty
- The sports star has been candid about his treatment for prostate cancer
- READ MORE: I saved a life on a night out …and you can too!
Kenny Logan, former Scotland rugby star, has spoken about his battle with prostate cancer. But most importantly, he has been searingly honest about the side-effects of the treatment — particularly impotence.
This is so rarely discussed in public, yet is something that has a profound impact on men. I cannot applaud him enough for his openness.
‘I was quite happy to talk about erectile dysfunction and all these other things because I was like, ‘It is a symptom,’ ‘ said Logan in a newspaper interview.
‘Six months on [from surgery to remove his prostate], I would say I’m physically 100 per cent, mentally 100 per cent, feel good. From a sexual point of view, it’s not consistent. As the surgeon said to me, this could take 18 months.’
I have met a number of men who have felt utterly bereft after treatment. They feel ‘less of a man’ and have an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame.
Kenny Logan (picturedin 2016), former Scotland rugby star, has spoken about his battle with prostate cancer
They feel they are no longer able to pleasure their partner in the same way and that there is a conspiracy of silence surrounding the feelings they have.
So why don’t we take men’s difficulties in this area more seriously?
I believe the fear of impotence has a damaging knock-on effect on men’s health in general.
According to top private hospital Cleveland Clinic in central London, 60 per cent of men surveyed don’t see their doctor regularly, only making an appointment when they’re seriously ill.
In my experience, the reason men put off seeing a doctor is the worry they may be diagnosed with a condition — high blood pressure, say, or heart problems or even prostate cancer — that means they’re shunted into a treatment or medication that renders them impotent.
The bereavement and sense of loss that some women feel when they are diagnosed with breast cancer and have a mastectomy is well known and openly discussed, with patients offered psychotherapy to help them cope. It’s accepted that it can have a profound impact on their sense of womanhood and their femininity.
Dr Max Pemberton (pictured) says: ‘In my experience, the reason men put off seeing a doctor is the worry they may be diagnosed with a condition’
The latest figures show that one in eight men will get prostate cancer in the UK in their lifetime, and one in seven women will get breast cancer. Stock image used
Yet men aren’t afforded the same sensitivity when it comes to prostate treatment that might affect their potency, and, therefore, their sense of masculinity.
I have written before about the health inequality that exists between the sexes when it comes to the cold, hard facts of prostate and breast cancer.
The latest figures show that one in eight men will get prostate cancer in the UK in their lifetime, and one in seven women will get breast cancer, yet fully double the money goes to early breast cancer research (£40 million to £46 million in 2018 compared to £22 million for prostate cancer research).
For me the stark inequality is how the psychological effects of surgery are downplayed, or even ignored, for men.
A friend of mine who had prostate surgery said that, while he was asked about mechanical function, he was never once asked about his feelings.
It wasn’t until he developed depression and his wife insisted he went to his GP that he was referred for psychotherapy — and even then he was allocated a female therapist in her 20s who didn’t know what the prostate was, let alone the complications he was experiencing that had led to his low mood.
The argument is that older men are often more reserved in talking about their emotions. But then, so are many older women, and that doesn’t stop services being set up to support their mental health post-breast surgery, or doctors and nurses feeling that asking about this is part of an holistic approach to treatment. Men are simply expected to get on with it.
We need more people like Kenny Logan to discuss it out in the open. But there are also ways to help support your partner emotionally if he finds himself in this position. Here’s what I recommend:
- Don’t assume that just because he hasn’t said anything to you, he isn’t worried about it. Bring it up in a calm, compassionate way and ask how he feels.
- Talk to him before doctors’ appointments and encourage him to ask specifically about side-effects such as impotence and what treatments are available should this occur. If he’s too embarrassed, offer to initiate the conversation for him. But respect his boundaries if he doesn’t want you in the room when it’s being discussed.
- Ask the surgeon about what emotional support there is available. Prostate Cancer UK is a great source of information and support.
- He might be burying his head in the sand, so become informed yourself. Do your own research and find out the options — later on, this might come in handy.
- Remind him that you love him and, even if there is a problem, this won’t affect your relationship or your feelings for him.
- If there is a problem after surgery, keep talking and be as supportive and understanding as possible. Keep an eye on his mood and encourage him to get professional help if you think he’s becoming depressed.
- For more support head to prostatecanceruk.org
- I have just voted in the BMA strike ballot — and I voted ‘No’. I appreciate that doctors’ wages have been cut in real terms over the years and many feel disillusioned. But compared to many other tax payers, we are well-rewarded. Given the difficulties the NHS is facing, we cannot justifiably put patients at risk in this way.
Why you SHOULD nag him
No one likes being nagged by their partner. But could it actually be — whisper it — good for you?
I know, the idea is not appealing, but maybe your other half really does have your best interests at heart. New research using data analysed from the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing found that those in a long-term relationship fared better with their health than those who were single or divorced, particularly in relation to their blood sugar levels.
The reason is that living with a partner — even one who gets on your nerves — modifies your behaviour. You tend to eat better, do more exercise and live in a generally healthier way because someone else is watching over you with a critical eye.
It’s not the first time this effect has been seen by scientists. Previous research suggests that married people are more than 40 per cent less likely to suffer or die from heart disease than single people, for example. So be grateful for that moaning voice telling you to put down the third biscuit. It might just prolong your life.
- Should we be keeping brain-dead women alive so their bodies can be used to have babies as surrogate mothers? It could be straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale, the dystopian novel by Margaret Atwood. But this isn’t fiction: the idea was actually mooted by a professor at the University of Oslo. The idea, termed ‘whole body gestational donation’, is unlikely to receive ethical approval. But I worry that we are on a slippery slope to the wholesale commodification of our bodies — and particularly those of women. This brave new world sounds like a nightmare to me.
DR MAX PRESCRIBES…
THE DEMENTIA SHOW
There are talks, demonstrations and workshops aimed at those caring for family members with dementia. Stock image used
This event, now in its tenth year, is on March 3-4 in Islington, north London. It’s a chance to access guidance and specialist products. There are talks, demonstrations and workshops aimed at those caring for family members with dementia. There are also free one-to-one appointments with Dementia UK’s Admiral Nurses and advisers from the Alzheimer’s Society. More info at alzheimersshow.co.uk.
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