Results days can feel like the absolute end of the world when it doesn’t quite go your child’s way.
But if they don’t get the grades they worked so hard for, it’s your job to help them see that the world will in fact keep spinning, and things are going to be OK.
As a parent, this is a big chance for you to guide, support and encourage your kids toward resilience, growth, and a better understanding of their self-worth.
No pressure!
You’ll also need to be on-hand for practical next steps, whether that’s navigating the university Clearing process after A-Level results day, or helping them to rethink sixth form or college plans post-GCSE.
‘As a parent, it can be heart-wrenching to see your child disappointed or upset with their academic outcomes,’ says Counselling Directory member Amy Baglietto. ‘But it is essential to remember that these results do not define their worth or success.’
How to console your child about A-level results
Amy says that one of the big things you need to stress is that this can actually be a great chance for them to grow and that failure (or maybe just perceived failure) isn’t the be-all and end-all.
‘Rather than focusing solely on the grades or achievements,’ she explains, ‘it’s crucial to instil in your children the belief that failure or disappointment isn’t the end of the world, but an opportunity for growth and learning.
‘Encourage your children to reflect on their efforts and progress rather than solely upon the final outcome.’
You should also remind them that they worked hard, and regardless of the results, that’s no small thing.
‘This cultivates a sense of self-worth that isn’t solely dependent on academic performance,’ explains Amy.
Even if their emotions are tough ones, you need to give them room to communicate what they’re feeling with you.
‘Create a safe space for your children to express their feelings, be it disappointment, frustration, or even relief,’ instructs Amy. ‘Listen attentively to their thoughts and concerns, acknowledging their emotions without judgment.
‘This open channel of dialogue helps them process their emotions and enhances your understanding of their perspective. While consoling your children, it’s essential to be a source of support and encouragement rather than focusing on criticism or blame.
‘Guide them towards a mindset that views setbacks as temporary and surmountable obstacles.’
One of the ways you can do this is by showing them examples of people who’ve found success despite having to grapple with big setbacks.
‘By emphasising the importance of perseverance and resilience,’ Amy tells us, ‘you can help your children develop the strength to bounce back from disappointments and view setbacks as opportunities for personal growth.’
Further to that, it’s a good idea to try reframing the way they look at success and failure altogether.
‘Remind them that academic achievements are only one aspect of a rich and fulfilling life,’ Amy goes on. ‘Encourage them to explore their passions and interests beyond the classroom, emphasising the value of personal growth, creativity, and developing life skills.
‘By broadening their perspective on success, you can help them realise that there are many pathways to happiness and fulfilment, beyond grades.’
But she also stresses that a ‘crucial’ part of making them feel better will be helping them be realistic about the future, while still making sure they know that their grades don’t define them.
Amy says: ‘Help them understand that everyone has their unique strengths and weaknesses and that academic outcomes do not solely determine their worth or potential.
‘Encourage them to have realistic aspirations, and focus on personal growth and development rather than comparison with others.’
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