I always invite my son’s high school girlfriend her to family events – his wife says it’s weird, but she’s like my daughter
- The woman and her husband said their daughter-in-law was acting ‘crazy’
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A mother has sparked fierce debate after revealing that she continues to invite her son’s ex-girlfriend to family gatherings – and even sees her as a daughter.
The anonymous parent, believed to be from the US, shared her dilemma on Reddit’s ‘Am I the A******’ forum.
In her post, the woman explained how her son – now 27 – broke up with his high school girlfriend when they went to college, but she’s still very much part of the family.
Now her son is married to someone else and his wife isn’t happy about his ex still being invited to family event, but the mother is standing her ground, saying she’s like a daughter to her and has a difficult relationship with her own parents.
Commenters were left divided with some insisisting that it would be wrong to start excluding the ex, who is effectively part of the family, while others sided with the daughter-in-law and said they understand why she’s upset.
An unnamed mother from the US took to Reddit to explain her predicament after being pressured to exclude her son’s ex from family gatherings (stock image)
The mother explained that she looks on her son’s ex as a daughter and that her husband will walk her down the aisle at her upcoming wedding
The mother explained: ‘She is in my eyes our daughter. Her family are awful people and she sees us as her parental figures.’
What’s more, the woman also revealed that her husband will be walking Sabrina down the aisle at her upcoming wedding.
At the time of their break-up, the mother revealed that her son ‘wasn’t happy’ that his parents refused to ‘drop’ Sabrina.
However, he made his peace with it and didn’t put up a fight when his parents continued inviting his ex to family gatherings.
That said, the woman’s daughter-in-law recently confronted her about Sabrina always being present for key family moments.
Giving context to her relationship with her son’s wife, she explained: ‘We never clicked, we don’t have much in common and they live two hours away so it’s hard to plan stuff to get to know her more. Really I’m sure it will grow in time.’
Recently, the woman organised a family picnic and described how ‘Sabrina was there as normal. I thought the night was nice.’
But she esaid that her daughter-in-law ‘came up to me at the end of the night and expressed that she is uncomfortable with her husband ex being everywhere and if I [could stop inviting] her to family stuff.’
In response, the mother-in-law told her that her son’s ex was part of the family and had been in their lives for much longer than she had.’
A number of commenters said it would be unfair to abandon her son’s ex who is part of the family just to spare the feelings of his new wife
She said her son has now branded her an a***** for picking his ex ‘over my now real family.’
Asking other members of the forum to weigh in, the mother said her husband agreed that their daughter-in-law is ‘crazy’ – but admitted that they be being biased.
The post sparked a heated debate in the group – with some arguing that the daughter-in-law was in the wrong.
One replied: ‘Oh come on, the ex has been in the family fold for years at this point. She is engaged and her husband will walk her down the aisle. She has done nothing wrong, and shouldn’t be disinvited from her family (blood doesn’t always make family).
‘The wife is being insecure, which happens but OP is right that not inviting her to family events she has gone to for ages would basically saying I don’t think you are my family anymore.’
Another said that there’s nothing weird about the situation, writing: ‘I know a few people who were semi adopted by other families when they were children, like the girl OP loves like a daughter.
‘That makes an impact on people, especially when the original home situation was garbage.’
Another added: ‘Some people are just vile. Just look how many commenters in here see it as appropriate and even expected to abandon a close and long term family member for no reason besides the relationship that introduced them into the family ended without fault.
‘People who cant handle the existence of a friendly ex of their partner have some mental growing up to do.’
The post sparked a heated debate in the group – with the majority arguing that the mother-in-law was in the wrong
Seeing both sides of the argument, another added: ‘You think of Sabrina as your own child. She is invited to things because you became her surrogate family.
‘Bethany is not an the a****** for being upset that someone her husband once loved is invited to all your family events. I would also be upset if my husband’s ex was accepted into his family while I am still struggling to feel like part of the family.’
Meanwhile, a third wrote: ‘I agree with everything you said but…. you should see Sabrina separately from your son and Bethany.’
However, others thought the mother-in-law should apologise to the couple for her behaviour.
One critic said: ‘She’s not your daughter she’s your sons ex and it’s weird as hell to keep inviting her to family events when your son has moved on and married.
‘It was extra rude to be so dismissive and nasty to Bethany when she was trying to open up about how uncomfortable she is. If you want to be friends with his ex then do it when they’re not around.’
Another replied: ‘You’ve spent the past five years making sure that your son knows you value this relationship with his ex more than his comfort and now you’re making his wife know it too.
‘I’m glad she sees you as parental figures since you’re going to destroy your actual relationship with your kid over this.’
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