DEAR DEIDRE: MY fiancé has just told me he has herpes.
I don’t understand how he got it – and I’m wondering if he’s been cheating on me.
I’m 24 and he is 25. When we got engaged recently I suggested that we stop using condoms, and he told me he’s a carrier of herpes.
I feel so let down because even though we have used condoms, surely I could already have contracted it from him simply by kissing and having oral sex.
He says that having the condition doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll get it too. Is this true?
And we’ve been together for a year, so how come he’s got it and I haven’t?
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I love him, but does this mean he’s been seeing somebody else?
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DEIDRE SAYS: He may have caught herpes ages ago. It is very common and many people are carriers with no apparent symptoms.
So you may even have it without realising also.
It is possible that you could have had it before meeting him.
In fact, more than two in three (70 per cent of us by the age of 25) will catch at least one strain of the herpes simplex virus sooner or later.
There is no need to panic, but you should know how to protect against it.
You can get more information from the Herpes Viruses Association (herpes.org.uk, 0845 123 2305).
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