The reaction I get the most whenever I do events, exhibitions or just meet people out and about is “you’re not as grumpy as you seem on the TV!” While it’s nice to think that people are pleasantly surprised, I do wish some of my personality came out more on stage.
I don’t talk about it a lot, but the challenges I have in terms of my bipolar and ADHD make the intensity of live TV tournaments a real challenge. Over the decades I have had to find coping strategies to keep going.
I am generally quite a shy person, and find it hard to be seen celebrating or ‘showboating’ for fear of looking arrogant or aloof – I always think pride comes before a fall and don’t want to set myself up to look stupid.
Routine and certainty are very important to me, and small things that can appear insignificant to others can really play on my mind and affect me long after they should – and I am on a bit of a run of those at the moment. Last week, I talked about not realising that one of the matches was a longer format than I expected, and on Saturday I overslept for one of my matches for the first time in my career.
Then, during the break in my Premier League semi-final on Monday, I got lost going to the toilet and panicked about not getting back on stage on time. While I appreciate it might be somewhat amusing for the TV commentators to come back from the break and announce that I had disappeared on a toilet trip, I hate causing a scene and ending up rushing to get back (don’t ask about whether I still needed the toilet).
It is really hard for me to get my focus back after things like this, and they end up going round and round my mind when I should be concentrating elsewhere.
If you want to laugh about one of these incidents (I can kind of find it funny now) then I will take you back to the Grand Slam of Darts in Wolverhampton last year. After a great run, I was in the final throes of preparing to face Gerwyn Price in the semi-final when I bent down and split my trousers!
Not a small split, a whopper which meant you could see my boxers and way too much of my backside. An emergency dash to my hotel ensued while I fretted about missing the walk-on (or doing it half-naked). Needless to say. I lost!
Will James Wade win a PDC major this year? Have your say in the comments section below.
Massive congratulations to Michael Van Gerwen for regaining the Premier League crown. It was a deserved victory, although Joe pushed him right to wire (literally!). Without making excuses I feel that I had just hit my stride when I had to take a break because of illness a few weeks ago, and the finals night probably came a bit too soon for me, although I am not far off my game now.
This week, I am hoping to be part of creating a monster! When Johnny Clayton won the World Cup with Wales to gain his first TV title, it was credited with propelling him to more glory, and I have the chance to be part of Michael Smith doing the same.
While we are rivals in other events, it will be great to wear the England shirt alongside him this week and it would make me extremely proud to gain some silverware for my country, even if that means have to deal with an even more confident Bully Boy in weeks to come!
All the best,
James Wade
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