MEL C has has told how her past struggles with eating disorders and depression led her to feeling suicidal while in the Spice Girls.
The 48-year-old singer said she would binge until she was unconcious and scrutiny around how she looked made her feel "embarrassed and ashamed".
She penned in her new autobiography Who I Am, shared with the Daily Mail: "I would eat cereal and bread to the point of sedation, I would binge until I was unconscious. I never, ever made myself sick, but I tried. I felt so disgusting".
Mel said she struggled to confront her problems and was "afraid"going so "far down that road" she would take her own life.
Mel joined the group along with Melanie Brown (Scary), Emma Bunton (Baby), Geri Halliwell (Ginger) and Victoria Adams (Posh) in 1994.
They were launched at the public in the early summer of 1996 with a debut single named Wannabe, which topped the charts that July.
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Spice Girls went on to become the biggest pop group for the next four years, with Mel saying her mental health hit rock bottom in 2000 when they split up.
She admitted comments from the public about how she looked and the size of her thighs made her also fear food.
"I was quite unwell for a few years, when I look back, I don’t know physically how I did it; when you consider how little I lived on and how much exercise I was doing alongside a brutal schedule", Melanie shared.
Symptoms of binge eating disorder
According to the NHS website the main symptom of binge eating disorder is eating a lot of food in a short time and not being able to stop when full. Other symptoms include.
- eating when not hungry
- eating very fast during a binge
- eating alone or secretly
- feeling depressed, guilty, ashamed or disgusted after binge eating
People who regularly eat in this way may have binge eating disorder.
Someone you care about may have an eating disorder if they:
- eat a lot of food, very quickly
- try to hide how much they're eating
- store up supplies of food
- put on weight (but this does not happen to everyone with binge eating disorder)
"I was embarrassed and ashamed of it. I had to keep it a secret because even though you’re in denial about it, there’s still that tiny little voice going: 'This isn’t right, you can’t continue like this'."
Two years ago Mel revealed how a “scuffle” with Victoria Beckham sparked her battle with depression and eating disorders.
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Mel said managers threatened to kick her out of the band months before they shot to stardom when she told Posh Spice to “f*** off” in a boozy off-stage row at the Brits in 1996.
She also said she went from started starving herself to binge-eating.
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She told Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs: “I think that is where the start of some of my problems came. I had to be very, very strict with myself.
“I couldn’t allow myself to relax because if I did I might mess it all up.”
You’re Not Alone
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You're Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let's all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You're Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
- Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
- Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123
- Movember, www.uk.movember.com
- Anxiety UK www.anxietyuk.org.uk, 03444 775 774 Monday-Friday 9.30am-10pm, Saturday/Sunday 10am-8pm
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