BABY names are something that can cause quite the split in opinion.
While most people tend to agree that it’s up to the parents to decide on a name for their child, some grandparents and other relatives may argue that they should actually get some say.
And one new mum has discovered that her in-laws are part of the latter group, and that they are now demanding she and her husband change their daughter’s name.
Posting to Reddit the mum wrote that they had been waiting until the baby was born to tell people the name they had chosen.
Once she was feeling better after giving birth, she and her husband invited family over so they could meet the baby, and find out the name, but this didn’t go quite as planned.
“My baby's name is Ryan,” writes the new mum, “My husband made the decision on the name and I made the decision on the middle name. He wanted to name her Ryan for his late brother.
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“I love the name and it fits her perfectly. Yesterday when the family came over and saw Ryan. My MIL asked for the name as soon as they sat down and I told them and they freaked out.”
She says that her mother-in-law then asked what the hell was wrong with her and then questioned “why would I give the baby a boy name.”
The anonymous mum then continues: “ My husband told them why but they freaked out even more saying that the name they chose for him was for a boy and that even then it's sacred and I shouldn't even have thought about using that name.”
Despite the fact that it was the baby’s father who picked out the name, the mum says that the in-laws were only blaming her, going as far as to call her an “incompetent woman and nothing more than that.”
The next day, she says that her husband looked as if he hadn’t slept, and asked her if maybe they should change the name after all.
She questioned why they would do this to which he responded that his parents said they’ll have nothing to do with their grandchild if her name isn’t changed.
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Comments on the woman’s thread were somewhat mixed, with one user writing: “Ryan is a perfectly lovely name for a boy or a girl. It has meaning for you and your husband. Keep the name you both chose together.
“His parents will either come around or they won't – either way, it's their problem and their loss.”
“Their reaction really sucks, and I'm so sorry they're so tied up in gender stereotypes,” wrote another Redditor who took the side of the parents.
However, others were somewhat more critical of the poster and her husband, with one arguing: “You two obviously don’t care about his parents. You always always discuss it if you are using a deceased child’s name. That’s respect.”
“The name absolutely should have been run by your in-laws, as it was their son. Some people may find it a nice thing to have a baby named after a deceased relative – but others may find it hugely upsetting” added another.
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Some commenters said that both the husband and his parents were ultimately in the wrong – the husband for not running the name by his parents, and his parents from blaming and insulting his wife.
In the comments, the new mum says that she and her husband have since discussed the situation with her in-laws and have decided that going forward they will call their daughter by her middle name, Kai.
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