When you think about it first dates can be kind of like a job interview.
You’re asking questions to get a sense of each other, your likes and dislikes, how’s the job and what do you do for fun. It’s all about seeing if you think you’re compatible.
But apart from any obvious chemistry, a therapist reveals that there are five questions you should be asking on a first date in order to reveal the important information about their character.
Warning, while these questions may seem like a lot, therapist Jeff Guenther trusts you can ‘sprinkle these in organically’.
Jeff, known as Therapy Jeff on TikTok, shared in a video the first question you should ask, straight off the bat.
What are you most passionate about?
Therapist Jeff says: ‘This question helps you understand their priorities, interests and what truly excites them. Or, it can trigger a mini existential crisis about how meaningless and empty their lives are.’
People in the comments were a little hesitant to ask this one, with one commenter saying: ‘I don’t think I want to trigger anyone’s existential crisis on the first date.’
We have to admit, we kind of agree. But then again, at least you’ll know what you’re getting yourself into.
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Who is the most influential person in your life and why?
This is the second question you should be asking according to Jeff and this one is a little less daunting.
He says: ‘This question can reveal their values as well as the type of people they admire and look up to. Do they exclusively list cancelled male comedians? Great info to have.’
This will help you identify whether your values will clash in the future.
What book, movie or TV show has had the biggest impact on your life?
Question three is probably the most typical ‘first date question’ so far.
‘This can help you understand their taste in entertainment, the types of stories that resonate with them and most importantly what TV show they routinely falls asleep to every night,’ says Jeff.
At least you’ll get a feel for which shows you can binge watch together if nothing else.
What’s your favourite childhood memory?
Question four is a trip down memory lane. But why is something so far in the past so important?
‘This can provide insights into their upbringing, family dynamics and the experiences that shape them and fun teasers about the unresolved trauma that could manifest in a future relationship,’ says Jeff.
While there’s not much that’s fun about unresolved trauma, at least you’ll know what you’re getting yourself into.
Do you have any unusual or quirky habits?
Bad habits. Pet Peeves. While these things may seem pretty minor, they can also be the things that grate on you over time, creating problems in an otherwise healthy relationship.
Jeff says: ‘This can provide insight into their personality and help you discover unique traits that make them who they are.
‘As well as super f**king annoying s**t they love to do that you’ll want to fully consider if you’re thinking about giving them a second date.’
But many in the comments felt they couldn’t even answer these questions for themselves, with one sharing how she can ‘never answer this stuff on the spot’.
If they couldn’t answer them, how could they expect their date to answer them? But maybe that’s just a sign that these are the questions that will give you a proper window into the life of your date.
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